Ozimnica.

Ves teden sem zbirala poletje in ga skupaj s poezijo in filmi pod zvezdami in koncerti in večernimi sprehodi in malo ljubezni spravila v nek kotiček sebe, kjer me bo grelo v hladnih jesenskih dneh, ki prihajajo.

Upam pa, da bo tudi jesen vsaj pol toliko krasna, kot je bilo to poletje.

Habits.

Sem si rekla: dovolj imam
 in v tem čisto nič poletnem, deževnem dnevu spakirala, da jutri navsezgodaj ujamem bus in čez osem ur sonce in morje. Da preplešem noči, ki bi bile sicer predolge in polne težkih sanj, in spijem kak gin tonic preveč. Da pozabim vse, kar me teži, in končno najdem lahkotno, brezskrbno poletje, ki ga tako težko čakam že od junija.

Ker če noče priti k meni, pač grem jaz k njemu.

Vse je v redu z mojo dušo.*

"Vse bo v redu" je te dni moja mantra.
 In ko to napišem, se pokaže sonce. Prisežem. :)

Pridi, brezskrbno poletje, te čakam z razprtimi rokami..

*Patetetico - Vse je v redu z mojo dušo

Na pragu poletja.

Za mano je eden težjih tednov v zadnjih letih. In ena najtežjih odločitev. Sem naredila prav - upam vsaj, da se bo tudi tokrat skladalo to, česar si želim, s tistim, kar se pač mora zgoditi. Res upam.

Do takrat pa naj bo malo poletje. Brezskrbno, bosih nog. Z lasmi, plapolajočimi v vetru, in metuljčki v trebuhu. Teh že (pre)dolgo ni bilo. Malo, vsaj malo..

That`s how it is in April..

Spring in me.

Danes sem se ustavila in pogledala nazaj na zadnjih nekaj mesecev. Je bilo nekaj težkih dni, priznam, ampak, ko potegnem črto, ugotovim, da se nimam zaradi česar pritoževati.

It`s all good at the end of the day, they say. And it obviously really is.

Čas, da ustvarim nove spomine. Čas za te krasne, pomladne dni. Čas, da zacvetim(o).

But maybe I`ll be okay, Ma`..

Look what they've done to my song, Ma`..
Look what they've done to my song.
Well, it's the only thing I could do half right
And it's turning out all wrong, Ma`.
Look what they've done to my song..
Look what they've done to my brain, Ma`.
Yeah, they picked it like a chicken bone
And they think I'm half insane, Ma`.
Look what they've done to my brain..
Wish I could find a book to live in..
Wish I could find a good book,
`cause if I could find a real good book
I'd never have to come out and look at
Look what they've done to my song.
And if people are buying tears
We'll be rich someday, Ma`..
Look what they've done to my brain.
But maybe I'll be alright, Ma`.
Yeah maybe I'll be okay,
`cause if the people are buying tears
then we'll be rich someday, Ma`,
Look what they've done to my soul, Ma`!
Look what they've done to my soul..
Yeah, they tied it in a plastic bag
and they shook me upside down, Ma`..
Look what they've done to my song..

 

Utrujena sem. Tako hudičevo utrujena od vsega.

Od vseh. 

..Look what they`ve done 

to my soul, Ma`..